This morning I did something brave. Something very brave that I haven't done in a v.e.r.y. l.o.n.g. t.i.m.e. I'm not even sure when I last did this. . . maybe the summer of 2009?
I woke up this morning to blue skies, warm (but not too warm!) weather, and a slight breeze. A wonderful setting for a brave endeavor. I decided to go to the pool wearing a bikini.
As a swimmer, wearing a swimsuit is no big deal. But usually I wear a one-piece, a garment that affords relief from a midsection of pale insecurities. When I'm feeling adventurous, I wear a tankini. But every time I open my top dresser drawer and see the bandeaus and halters of nearly forgotten bikini tops, I am hit by a wave of guilt and fear. Today I realized that this wave was one I could conquer.
Getting ready for my swim/sun session this morning, I reached into my drawer and pulled out a white and red paisley halter top (purchased between my sophomore and junior year of high school!) and a brown pair of bottoms and resolved to conquer my fear and guilt associated with wearing bikinis.
I didn't look like my 16 year old self, which makes sense because I am no longer on the swim team or track team, but the bikini still fit. I didn't look perfect- but I looked good and I felt confident. And I think it was my confidence that convinced me that I looked good.
So. . . with that confidence and an eensy weensy ounce of bravery, I drove up to my neighborhood pool rocking my bikini! I swam a few laps and basked in the success of my Monday morning bikini adventure. A small but significant triumph over body image insecurities and a victory in self-confidence!
I think this is going to be a good week!
|Just keep swimming! Photo taken by me at the Missouri Botanical Gardens in 2010|